The Wisdom of Homer

Homer: Are you saying you’re never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.

Marge: Homer, the plant called. They said if you don’t show up tomorrow don’t bother showing up on Monday.
Homer: Woo-hoo. Four-day weekend.

Homer: How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?

Homer: Aw, twenty dollars! I wanted a peanut!
Homer’s Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts!
Homer: Explain how!
Homer’s Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services!
Homer: Woo-hoo!


About bulletsandhoney
I read my first book when I was three, then my second one a few weeks later. It has carried on this way for decades with only temporary distractions of eating, fighting, loving, heartbreak and other such irrelevant biographical details.

8 Responses to The Wisdom of Homer

  1. ozymandiaz says:

    From first when I saw him, Homer has been my hero, my rollmodel.

  2. Keguro says:

    MMK: From world economic systems to Homer?

    Truly, eclecticism runs in your blood.

    Or, like me, you’ve taken a brain break.

    Most likely both.

  3. MMK says:

    Ozymandiaz and Keguro – Isn’t Homer great? I am taking a brain break for sure. You’ll enjoy this one:

    Homer: Marge? Since I’m not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
    Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.
    Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won’t be used on any meat product.
    Bart: You dunkin’ your sausages in that syrup homeboy?
    Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
    Marge: Tell him yourself, you’re ignoring Lisa, not Bart.
    Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.
    Marge: Homer, you’re not not-talking to me and secondly I heard what you said.
    Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.
    Bart: Uhhh, dad, Lisa’s the one you’re not talking to.
    Homer: Bart, go to your room.

  4. stonelifter says:

    damn- now i have a great desire for sausage with maple syrup on them

  5. Keguro says:

    Sadly, and I say this with much shame,

    I have watched every single episode you reference, more than once. I’ve watched the Simpsons in re-run for the last 4 years, during the day time, late at night, in the middle of the morning, and living in three different cities.

    I bow my head with shame.

  6. MMK says:

    keguro – there is no shame in your game. The present I look forward to most is all the simpsons episodes. I do not know how they managed to write such incredible episodes for so long.

  7. Ms K says:

    Ah Simpsons lovers. I am home!!!

  8. amegon says:

    don’t forget the best Homer quote: “Hmmm… chocolate”

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